X Factor auditions: you be the judge

THE FRIDAY THING: IF this year’s party conferences were a trailer for next year’s general election then we should be in line for every award in the book - including a Bafta, an Emmy, an Oscar and several top comedy awards. And that’s without including UKIP and the Greens...

When it comes to performances, Ed Miliband will certainly get the amazing invisible man award - assuming his Labour colleagues haven’t found him a posting in Syria.

There have been calls from the Labour benches for Ed to up his performance following the news that Labour’s biggest election hope is getting only 22 per cent of party support while 68 per cent of members think he would be better off emigrating.

The surprising thing is that despite months of verbal pushes and shoves, Ed seems to have been fearful of going out and actually speaking to Labour supporters (assuming he could find any).

David Cameron had a good X-Factor-style conference telling the faithful things they wanted to hear.

Whether poached and hijacked Tories will help Nigel Farage to create a recipe for a glorious UKIP election result remains to be seen.

Then there’s the Lib-Dems in general and Nick Clegg in particular who came out of their conference with a promise to legalise brothels - allowing prostitutes to advertise on street corners without arrest. A good Liberal issue.

Nick, of course, is already gearing up to be in another coalition government next year, when he might stay with the Tories or join Ed Miliband in a coalition of losers and no-mates.

The one positive you can say about the Lib-Dems is that they don’t lack either cheek or nerve and clearly have no shame in swapping or ditching policies and ideas.


ONE man who won’t have much interest in next year’s general election is Nick Griffin, one-time leader of the British National Party. Nick, who tried to infest Oldham with his ghastly right-wing ideas has been expelled from the BNP causing, you will not be surprised to hear, disunity among the ranks.