Home for the holidays!

THE FRIDAY THING: HOLIDAY time is here, but will those heading for distant parts of the globe during the school holidays really be in a joyful mood?

Anyone who fancies Calais in France or Greece - hopefully you’ll have chosen the right currency to take - might think better of their choice.

The downside of holidaying in, or visiting, Calais, is that you might have to spend two weeks breaking into and then out of lorries loaded with fish and outdated vegetables.

Perhaps the wiser folk among us will have decided to stay in the UK rather than sampling overseas hospitality - some of which can be tragically inhospitable, as we have seen.

If that doesn’t light up your holiday, then how about a break in the Brecon Beacons or a trip to Afghanistan or maybe even Syria for the extreme travellers among you. A two-week break in Putin’s Russia would also provide plenty of excitement - especially if you happen to be gay.

Planning holidays used to be simple, but these days you need to choose your destination with very great care.

You just might be better off staying at home. Little chance of skin cancer throughu expsore to the sun, and you help to reduce the national debt by keeping the cash in the UK. But don’t get me started on that one...