Rip-roaring panto gets off to a flier

Dress rehearsal for Oldham Coliseum pantomime "Mother Goose". Full cast.

KIM Kardashian should be worried.

I mean, should Kanye ever clap eyes on Fine Time Fontayne’s bulbous, sequin-clad rear I reckon “Kimye” will be over.

The star — and co-writer — of Oldham Coliseum’s annual festive extravaganza is renowned for his “sublime to the ridiculous” wardrobe.

And for this year’s “Mother Goose” panto his garish garments live up to all expectations. His perfectly padded backside is not only giving Kim a run for her money but could potentially leave Nicky Minaj in the shade — literally.

The Coliseum’s seasonal spectacular got off to a flying start, opening to a full house and receiving rapturous applause from its many fans who, along with critics, regard it as one of the best pantomimes around.

The script sticks to tradition but as always there’s a clever contemporary twist.

Mother Goose is down on her luck and stony broke until Priscilla the goose starts laying golden eggs and all her troubles appear to be over. But, as is customary in these affairs, it all goes a little egg-shaped with hilarious consequences.

The boos start at curtain up as The Demon of Discontent, played devishly well by Andonis Anthony, reveals his dastardly plan to prep Priscilla for Christmas dinner.

Popular panto regular Richard J Fletcher — his slapstick, comic timing is spot on as always — plays the hapless Billy Goose while Justine Elizabeth Bailey is back in the principal boy role of Colin Goose, who falls in love with Colinette Grabbit, played by Nicole Evans.

Simeon Truby is the tram-spotting Squire Grabbit whose Metrolink melody is a wonder to behold.

Catchphrases — look out for the pudding poker — a gaggle of goosey gags and some rather bad yokes, I mean jokes, prove to be an infectious mix of magical Christmas family fun.

And who’d have thought a pantomime would be attempting to reset our moral barometers.

We’re used to the age-old theme of good conquering evil, but the perils of vanity and money?

One in the face for the status-obsessed selfie-takers maybe?

Mother Goose runs until January 9.

GP