Full steam ahead for friends

ANGELA and DOROTHY

THE Chronicle, the Alzheimer’s Society, Oldham Council and the Oldham Clinical Commissioning Group have launched a campaign to raise awareness of dementia and inspire readers to become “dementia friends” to improve understanding of the condition.

Here we feature the story of Royton care assistant and dementia friend Angela Kay . . .


CARE assistant Angela Kay hopes her poem about dementia will raise awareness of the condition - and help Oldham to become “dementia friendly”.


Angela, from Royton, wrote “Faulty Kettle Lead” following her own experiences in helping to care for her mother-in-law Dorothy following a diagnosis of vascular dementia four years ago.

The poem, written from the point of view of someone with dementia, explores the loss of independence and individuality.

Angela (52), a night care assistant at Neville House care home in Chadderton, said: “Dementia is a passion with me because not only have I experienced the heartache of the families and loved ones of the people I’ve cared for, but I also know from my own personal experience how devastating it can be.

“Before my mother-in-law’s diagnosis, she had been a very happy lady who loved reading, gardening, cooking and shopping. She was very independent and lived alone.

“But I first noticed there were problems when we went to visit one day. Dorothy started to repeat herself and say that she had lost things, but then would then say she had found it but couldn’t explain how it had got there.

“It was just small things at first, but because of my experience and training I thought she might have dementia.”

More problems emerged over time - including putting the electric kettle on a gas hob, and thinking people were stealing her things.

Dorothy refused to see a doctor and her family continued to care for her. But things took a dramatic turn when she was found by a passing motorist, wandering the streets late at night.

Dorothy was quickly assessed as a dementia sufferer.

Angela, a care assistant for 10 years, added: “I wrote the poem to explain to my husband Michael how variable the condition can be. One moment the connection is strong, the next they are weak and confused. The poem, was heartbreaking for him but helped him to come to terms with losing the mother he knew.”

Dorothy died last month but the poem, dedicated to her memory, continues to help others to understand the disease.

Angela said: “The poem has been used in training by the Oldham Dementia Partnership and has also been broadcast by Oldham Community Radio. I hope it can help the Chronicle’s campaign too.”


Faulty Kettle Lead

I’m a bit like a faulty kettle lead... sometimes the connection is strong.

When you wiggle my lead my thoughts are clear...

But not for too long.

I know he’s my son, some of the time, and that I’m not old and still in my prime.

The mirror reflects, but all that I see is the face of an old lady.

And she’s looking at me.

They treat me like family and say this is “my home”.

So why do I feel so very alone?

And when I ask them a question, they don’t understand and say:

“In a minute” or just wave a hand.

They don’t see my memories.

They belong in my head.

They just say: “Time for dinner Dorothy!” or “Time for bed!”

They’ve even started to feed me, I don’t understand why...

I don’t always like it and sometimes I cry.

I’ll be sitting here now until lunch and then it’s time for the loo.

I get so bored, there’s just nothing to do.

If I could walk out of here I would catch a bus . . .

But they’d only bring me back and kick up a fuss.

I remember my Ronnie and walks by the canal.

I’d better to go home, he’ll be missing me now.

I’ve got the pots to do and the tea to prepare.

Sometimes I know I’m not really all there . . .

I’m a bit like a faulty kettle lead, sometimes the connection is strong.

When you wiggle my lead my thoughts are clear.

But not for too long.