Alzheimer’s Society campaign reveals how dementia puts the ultimate vow of ‘in sickness and in health’ to the test

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The harsh realities of caring for a partner with dementia are laid bare in a moving campaign launched by the Alzheimer’s Society.

Couples from across the UK have opened their hearts about the devastating impact the condition has had on their relationship.

For many, a dementia diagnosis marks the beginning of an often-difficult transition from being in an intimate relationship, to becoming a carer - fulfilling the ultimate vow of staying together ‘in sickness and in health’.

By highlighting the changing nature of intimate relationships following a dementia diagnosis, the charity shines a light on the challenges couples face and is urging its supporters to help it reach more people by donating to the cause.

The campaign features an emotional TV and radio ad, narrated by actor Colin Firth, which shows how dementia can change the dynamics of a relationship.

Meanwhile, Mary McCartney, Sir Paul McCartney’s daughter, has taken photographs of couples affected by dementia are appearing on billboards.

Pauline Nowell, of Manchester, who is living with Alzheimer’s disease and mild Vascular Dementia, was also photographed with wife Hilary by Mary McCartney.

The couple in their 80s also appear in a film talking about their special bond (see below).

Hilary recalled: “We were happily married, ecstatic, then possibly the year following we noticed the symptoms of dementia and it came to the point that it had to be spoken about.

“When that love is there, you can climb every mountain - and we will do.

"So many people who have dementia think there’s nothing for them, but we have no doubt Alzheimer’s Society are behind us.

“We are surrounded by love and kindness - it gives you a true reason to live and to want to go on.

"We don’t feel alone on this journey.”

Talking about the photo shoots, Mary McCartney said: “I’ve always been drawn to people and their relationships, focusing my photography on discovering those rare moments of unguarded, emotionally charged intimacy.

“That's why I wanted to be part of this campaign for Alzheimer’s Society.

"To visually highlight these relationships and the cherished moments within - moments which become challenged due to dementia.

"I hope these images help to raise awareness of both dementia and the crucial work of Alzheimer's Society.”

Football legend Denis Law, who announced he was diagnosed with mixed dementia August 2021, is also supporting Alzheimer’s Society’s Ultimate Vow campaign.

He said: “When you get married, you never imagine that decades after making those vows of ‘in sickness and in health’ that you will end up testing them to the limits with dementia.

"That you would come to rely so heavily on your partner keeping their vow to really look after you.

“Diana and I have been such a strong team for over 60 years.

"We’ve just celebrated our diamond wedding anniversary and it was such an honour and surprise to get a letter from King Charles.

“We tackle everything together.

"But living with dementia means Diana has to take responsibility a bit more now although we still come as a team of course!

"It’s a change for both of us.

"Her support and dedication is testament to the love we have for one another, to that commitment we made all those years ago at the altar.

"Without a doubt, I’d do the same for her if life had dealt us a different hand.

“It goes to show that dementia can affect anyone, no matter who you are.

"I’m extremely lucky to have enjoyed such an amazing career in football.

"Not many people have had the experiences I have had. 

"I have been shown such love from the public.

“Relationships require hard work and patience.

"Adding a dementia diagnosis into the mix can increase pressure even further.

"It’s all about communication, taking things at your own pace, and reaching out for support when you need it.

“Dementia can and does affect a marriage but not the love you feel for one another.

"That’s why Diana and I are so proud to support Alzheimer’s Society Ultimate Vow campaign.”

There are currently 900,000 people living with the condition in the UK, a figure that’s expected to rise to almost 1.6 million by 2040.

Emma Spragg, Head of Service for Alzheimer’s Society in the North West and Northern Ireland, said: “A third of us will develop dementia in our lifetimes, making it the biggest health and social care challenge we face.

"Caring for a partner with dementia is fulfilling the ultimate relationship vow, but navigating your way through ‘in sickness and in health’ can be overwhelming.

“Our vow to people affected by dementia is that we will be there, we will provide hope, and we will help you climb those mountains.

"But we simply can’t reach everyone and that’s why we’re calling on the public to donate.

"This is not a problem that is going away - the number of people living with dementia is only going up.

“Our website saw a massive 12,000% increase in visitors following news that actor Bruce Willis was diagnosed with dementia.

"It’s a hugely useful resource for anyone looking to learn more about the condition.

“I would encourage anyone with questions and concerns to visit at alzheimers.org.uk to learn more and to donate so we can be there for even more people.”

In addition to a ‘relationships hub’ on Alzheimer’s Society’s website where people can find advice, people affected by dementia can access ‘peer-to-peer’ support by visiting Talking Point, the charity’s online forum.

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