A wall, a house or a big debt, it’s easy

The art of . . . building

THE concept of building is a fairly simple one. You start off with something and keep adding bits until it’s bigger and better.

A good place to begin is with a wall. Just get some stones or bricks or pieces of Lego and pile them up so they overlap each other. Interlinking them like this is what gives your wall its strength.

The main aim is for it to stay up for the next century but that doesn’t mean you should subdue your artistic temperament so feel free to stick a funny shaped stone in there if you want.

Once finished, stand back and admire your handiwork. If you’re like me, by now you’ll be thinking that building a big house isn’t beyond you.

My dad and I built a dry stone wall in my back garden recently and were so pleased with it we wondered if there existed a Greatest Wall in History competition that we could enter it into.

We’re now having to build a viewing platform for the coach loads of people who’re bound to come once word gets out that the eighth wonder of the world is complete.

A solid foundation is of course crucial. Without it, your wall won’t take the weight of your father-in-law at your next barbecue and that would be embarrassing for everyone.

While men build walls and empires, women nurture families and build relationships.

If you want one to last then friendship is a starting point, add some laughter, a common interest or two and then some shared experiences to bond it all together.

A bit of arguing can add character but if the weight of it gets too much it could cause some cracks.

Other options are building up traffic by driving at 27 miles an hour (within minutes there’ll be a line of furious motorists behind you), building up your hopes by buying a lottery ticket, or why not get involved in a construction project so popular that half the country is at it — building up debt.

For a really sturdy debt I’d recommend a massive mortgage as your base, a couple of layers of credit card bills and an overdraft or two. Then top it off with a car you can’t afford on a monthly payment plan.

If you think that’s an impressive debt, you should see our national one. That’s going to take decades to demolish and the Government hadn’t even got planning permission.


Next week . . . The Art of being Surprised