The art of splashing; Don’t be wet, join the fun

WHETHER you enjoy splashing or not will depend on the situation and if you are the splasher or the splashee.

To splash is to propel or scatter fluid in flying masses. It’s a result of a solid object hitting a liquid or a liquidy object hitting something solid.

The fun area of this vocation is predominantly the preserve of children. It’s rare an adult will giddily leave the house in wellies to go hunting puddles, but for children it’s right up there with eating ice cream and going down a slide backwards.

It is possible to splash puddles gently by standing on one leg and tentatively tapping the puddle top with your other but it’s much more exhillirating to put both feed together, jump as high as you can and attempt to empty the puddle on landing.

A risk with the second approach is that you’ll disappear and only re-emerge minutes later gasping for air and with mud in you hair and eyes. This is why it’s always important to have someone with you when you’re doing serious puddle splashing. So they can laugh at you.

A cleaner splashing arena is the bath or at a swimming pool where it gets a mention on the “Don’t Do”’ sign along with heavy petting and eating cheese sandwiches.

Not that boys take any notice. You’ll often see girls with their hands and chin up, blinking incessantly and looking round despairingly for help. “You can re-do my make up if that goes in my face!” my wife shouts at me.

It’s a threat that could backfire spectacularly if I held her to it.

It’s not all hilarity though because a splash of the wrong kind at the wrong time can be disastrous. Dangerous combinations for this are a bus stop, a puddle and a job interview, or a white top and bolognaise.

However careful you are, it’s inevitable that a piece of spaghetti will swing round, lasso style, and drop a dollop of bolognaise on your chest region, especially if you’re about to go out.

Other options are splashing the cash, bringing a splash of colour to a room or making a splash in life generally.

The last one means you make a big impression at an event or on the people you’ve met. If you’re an aquired taste, it may be that they decide to stick themselves straight in the washer afterwards in a desperate attempt to get the stain out.


Next week… The art of being charitable