War zone of equal ownership

The art of SHARING: If you’ve got brothers and sisters then you’ll know all about sharing.

If you’re an only one, you will be gobsmacked by what you’re about to read. The basic concept is that you agree to jointly own or use something. It could be a car or a pizza or a failing bank, the idea is the same.

In families, communities and even wider society, sharing is essential for survival.

Having shared needs and values is what bonds us together.

It’s such an important principle that it’s one of the first rules parents try to instil in their offspring.

When I arrive in our front room to the sound of squabbling siblings, invariably it’s due to a dispute over a toy. “Why have you taken that off him?” I ask my three-year-old who explains sincerely, “I’m sharing it.” I’m not entirely sure the whole message is getting through.

Once someone is prepared to share, the next job is to get them to do it fairly.

If the object involved is, say, a chocolate bar, a little tip is to get one person to cut it while the other is allowed to choose their half first.

This approach won’t really work for divorcees who’re fighting over the kids.

Sharing food is a favourite of mine as long as it is someone elses but the most important thing you can choose to share with someone is your life.

The highs and the lows, the laughter and the sadness. Every experience will be richer if someone you love is part of it too.

If you do decide to commit yourself to being with someone, be it by living together or getting married, it generally means you consent to share everything with them. Except the duvet.

While your joyous union may falter slightly over ownership of the TV remote control, full scale wars are fought in the bedroom at 2am while you’re both semi-conscious.

I find the trick is to trap a big chunk of the middle section between your knees before rolling backwards towards your half of the bed.

It’s only over breakfast that you recall how you spent half the night acting like toddlers. Which takes me back to my two.

The other day as they were lay having a bedtime story our little girl cuddled her little brother and said, “I love him.

“He can share my cars and come to my pre-school and share my lunch.” So we’re making progress after all. I have a feeling it’s not going to last.


Next week: The Art of match-making