Happy to help... themselves

PAV’S PATCH:

ISN’T it wonderful how companies try to make it sound like they’re doing you a favour when all they are doing is lining their coffers?

Credit card companies are particularly good at this, packaging useless insurance as a special gift. But more of them later.

Last year, I got broadband for free. Then the supplier told me I had broken a limit and began to charge me £5 a month. A week or so ago I got a letter telling me that they were changing their products and now I could have unlimited downloads at speeds of — up to — 20Mb. And for this I would have to pay £7.50 a month.

So in the space of less than a year I’ve gone from paying nothing to £90 for 12 months’ service. Of course I’m being churlish here because they’re doing me a favour. I’ve now got complete peace of mind. Except that I don’t download films or music. I just do a little surfing. I was hardly stressed out with the way things were.

I ought to punish myself. My supplier is only caring about my needs and there’s me thinking they want to make more money.

A few more weeks ago I cancelled a credit card I don’t use. Now by cancel, I was asking the bank to kill it off, put a bullet in its brain, inject it with cyanide, wipe it off the map. Yet I got a letter telling me that I had to make sure nothing was charged to it as I would have to pay.

Sorry, I thought I asked the bank to cancel it. How can money be charged to something that doesn’t exist?

I shouldn’t be surprised. A couple of years ago the same bank offered to pay me £100 if I opened a current account. To qualify I had to be interviewed so that they could then bombard me with offers for worthless insurance. I decided to stay put.

And then we come to my birthday treat — I took my son to the pictures to see “Clash of the Titans”. For an adult and child at 6pm on a Monday, with 3D glasses, it cost £17.60.

I e-mailed the cinema chain to ask if they had made a mistake. The specs came to £1.60 and £16 still struck me as a lot.

They told me that 3D films cost a lot more to make so there is a surcharge.

But they were sure I’d understand because my viewing enjoyment was so much enhanced. Actually, I can remember when cardboard glasses were free.

When a friend went, they offered to recycle the specs. Wonder if these were later sold again?