The Art of Being Sensitive: You won’t like this if you are a bit sensitive

IF you are a bit sensitive then you may find what you’re about to read upsetting.

Not because it’s insulting or spiteful but because however delicately I try to phrase what could be construed as slight criticism, it’s bound to cut you deeply.

You see, I don’t think being sensitive is much fun. As the owner of delicate disposition, you have to live your life braced for heartbreak. It’s the wafer thin skin that’s the problem, it’s all you have to protect feelings which are very easily hurt.

With a bit of effort your sensitivity radar can be so finally tuned that you can stumble from one hurtful incident to another, even getting a bit upset with the world itself for allowing you to be treated so dreadfully.

Taking offence should be what you do best, especially if none was intended and you’ll be constantly vulnerable to attack from comments which, however innocent they may appear to the casual observer, were obviously meant as a vicious verbal assault.

Alternatively, you can be insensitive which can be right laugh. It’s like you’re a bull in a very expensive china shop.

You can say what you want and do what you want and most importantly, appear oblivious to the distress that you cause. After all, it’s not your problem if people are a bit sensitive.

If you hear someone’s just been dumped you can ask if it’s because they’ve got a bit tubby recently.

It’s a fair question. As your victim reels in horror you can then smile and say, “I’m only joking! Can’t anyone take a joke these days?” It’s known as the double whammy in sensitive circles.

It may be that as well as having a sensitive soul, you’ve landed with sensitive skin. Mine gets offended at even the slightest hint of sun and comes out in a right rash if I dare to wear anything I’ve knitted myself. It means Factor 30 is one of my oldest friends.

Of course, some people see that as an invitation to hurl hurtful insults. Last time I went swimming someone asked if I’d been moon bathing.

Someone else wondered if my season ticket at Tan-tasia had run out. I actually thought they were both pretty horrible things to say, especially at a time when my woollen trunks were chaffing and causing me all sorts of problems.

I can take a joke as much as the next man but not if it’s at my expense.

Next week — the art of being eco-friendly