It’s so good to talk at stammer help group

WHAT do Winston Churchill, Sylvester Stalone, Tiger Woods, Marilyn Monroe and Gareth Gates have in common? They have all faced life with a stammer. Stammering is far more common than many people realise and it affects more than 2,000 Oldhamers. One of those is Patrick Traynor, whose 56 years of living with a speech impediment prompted him to start a support group. He told his story to reporter Marina Berry.

Patrick Traynor has had a stammer for as long as he can remember.

His mother had him down as a “nervous child” and, along with his sister, finished his sentences for him when he found himself struggling.

“They were only trying to help me, but in actual fact it had the opposite effect,” he said.

“The worst thing anyone can do is finish your sentences, it makes you feel absolutely terrible, dejected, as though you count for nothing.

“And the best thing anyone can do is have the patience to wait for a person who stammers to get their own words out.”

Patrick explained that some people are born with a stammer, some develop a stammer after a trauma or accident and others develop one after a scare or a difficult experience.

He said: “As I got older, I realised that everyone gets nervous, and I felt the excuse for my stammer was just a cop out.

“I found it really tough to get a word out until I was 15. I used to dread the teacher coming in because we had to shout our names out for the register.

“That was hard, it was a constant battle. I used to think ‘please, please, please let me get my name out’ as it came closer to my turn.”

The stammering young Patrick suffered the odd snigger behind his back at school, but said most of his fellow-pupils accepted it was just part of his make-up.

He still stammers today, despite counselling which he said helped him understand situations which affect his stammer and aid from Oldham speech and language therapist Win Ashmore at Moorside Medical Centre.

Win explained that around 1 per cent of the population stammer. It can result in uncontrolled hesitation in speech, repetitions and blocks, where no sound comes out when they try to speak. She said it was not always obvious when a person had a stammer, because some avoided certain situations or words.

Win added: “I once met someone who for years always ordered tea instead of coffee, because he was afraid of stammering on the word coffee — even though he didn’t like tea.”

Patrick added: “People like me can talk for a good half-hour without stammering, then all of a sudden it kicks in.

“I don’t know why, but it always happens.

“Although it’s embarrassing and has knocked my confidence, it hasn’t really stopped me moving on in life.

“I get good days and bad days, when I can’t get a word out at all,” he explained.

Win used to run monthly meetings but when they stopped due to lack of interest, Patrick joined forces with fellow-member Sophie Brown to set up their own self-help group.

“I was devastated when the meetings stopped, but looking back I can understand why people didn’t turn up,” he said.

“They were very formal and held in a medical centre in Sholver, which wasn’t the easiest place to get to.

“That’s where I met Sophie. She is blind as well as having a stammer. She’s so courageous.

“It has never stopped her going forward in life. She even went to university.

“She is such a battler, and we talked and decided it would be good if we set up a support group together.”

Patrick, of Tensing Street, Bardsley, is snow working relentlessly to get the message out to fellow-stammerers that they are there to help. He said: “Stammering is a very embarrassing thing to have. It can stop people going out, it ostracises and segregates, especially young people — how can you be cool when you are stammering?

“I grew up with a stammer, I have had one all my life. I have got the T-shirt and I know what people go through.

“At our group, we sit and talk about how our week has been and how we have dealt with situations. It’s a great confidence booster. If we can get this group going properly it will also have a social side. Life doesn’t have to stop because you stammer. We are here to help, we have all had the same feelings, so don’t be frightened to join us.

“There are people all over Oldham going about their daily business who stammer. You are not on your own, so please, please try to come to the group.”

The group meets fortnightly on Tuesdays at the Chadderton Court Resource Centre, 451 Middleton Road, Chadderton. For details contact Patrick on 07878-944 562.

Win can be contacted on 0161-344 8165 or 07867 815 789. Alternatively, email w.ashmore@nhs.net or send a letter to Moorside Medical Centre, 681 Ripponden Road, Oldham, OL1 4JU.

The speech and language therapy service for children is based at the Oldham Integrated Care Centre. Children can be self-referred by calling 0161-621 3666.