Blind eye better than a deaf ear

SERIOUS sport is war minus the shooting, so the old adage goes.

George Orwell came up with that one. Very appropriate too, when considering the second Test match between the Great British and Irish Lions and South Africa.

The Pretoria field was no place for shrinking violets as the two sides tore strips from one another right from the off.

Schalk Burger adopted the modern warfare tactic of the pre-emptive strike when sticking his fingers in the eye sockets of young Irish winger Luke Fitzgerald after only 32 seconds, while compatriot Bakkies Botha focused a shock-and-awe charge on Adam Jones, leaving the Lions prop with a dislocated shoulder and the South African player with a two-week ban.

Such incidents, though appalling, will occur in the heat of battle and the tourists weren’t entirely blameless themselves, though they certainly came off second-best injuries wise.

It doesn’t alter the fact that it was brilliant drama and easily the most compelling sporting contest of the weekend.

Compare the drama of the series-sealing 28-25 win for South Africa to the dross on offer at Wimbledon so far.

The women’s game has long since lost most of its appeal. The once coveted spot of world number one is occupied and vacated with more regularity than the portaloo outside the champers tent in SW19 (it is Dinara Safina at the moment, by the way — no, me neither).

As for the men, without the injured Rafa Nadal it looks like a cakewalk for Roger Federer, who may be the finest player the world has ever seen but hardly a rival for Ilie Nastase in the charisma stakes.

The BBC has tried to jazz up its exhaustive coverage of the event with ‘Tarango and Cash’, one of the most bizarre radio programmes you will ever hear.

The pun-heavy title of this mercifully brief 15-minute radio show was far better than its content when I tuned in: a strained AC/DC singalong with punters on Henman Hill or Murray Mound was one particular lowlight.

Fingers in eyes may be the theme of the weekend, but when it comes to most tennis commentary, especially the supposed light-hearted stuff, I find that fingers in ears works best.

mattchambers@oldham-chronicle.co.uk