Lords row won’t disap-peer

THE FRIDAY THING: YOU have to hand it to the Lib-Dems (no, I don’t mean a hand grenade, though...) when it comes to making a selfish pig’s ear of things they certainly are the experts.

Leader (for the moment anyway) Nick Clegg forced the Collision government into its biggest crash thus far by stamping his suede sneaker-covered feet and demanding, in a look-at-powerful-me tantrum, that the House of Lords should be reformed. Now! This instant! So he can pack the cosy benches with members of his own party. Not a subtle ploy.

With most of the Tories and all the jeerers and sneerers on the the two-faced Labour benches (they must all have stiff necks looking two or three ways at once) against — or pretending to be against — there was never a cat in a hat’s chance of nasty Nick getting his way.

It was typical Lib-Dem; a nasty ploy, totally self-serving and with a bit of blackmail thrown in (sack the Lords or we’ll renege on our promises to support the upcoming boundary reforms).

Chubby Dave, reduced to a team without a goalie, a midfield or a penalty taker, had to (with probably not too much regret) accept that he couldn’t let Lords reform leave the substitutes bench and blew what was probably the half-time whistle as we will certainly be back on this battleground, kicking several shades of shirts out of one another before the year is out.

But how many feet-on-the-ground Oldhamers really care about Lords reform? How many know anything about it or feel that their lives will be affected by it as much as they are affected by unemployment, rising prices, ever-increasing bills, and the ceaseless rain?

The plain truth is that hardly any of us feel that our lives will change for better or for worse if the Lords is reformed or if it stays the same anachronism it has always been.

Surely those who govern us should be concentrating on making a better job of government rather than bickering like unruly school kids behind the playground bogs over an issue that is of no interest or consequence whatsoever to the vast majority of us.


I DIDN’T think it applied to me or, indeed, to anyone I know when I read the headline: “Don’t be shy; your pants can save the planet”.
If the planet is dependent upon my pants or the pants of my curry-eating, wine and beer supping friends for its future then heaven help us is all I can say.

Not surprisingly the Government, that clearly has nothing better to do as the country sinks into flash floods of rain and mounting tides of indebtedness, wants us to recycle our knickers, underpants, socks, bras and vests (does anyone still wear a vest?) in an effort to save the planet.

Apparently we throw 350,000 tons of our pants and knickers into landfill sites each year and they generate 14 tons of carbon dioxide for each ton of clothing manufactured (I don’t know what you’ve been eating but your pants could obviously tell an interesting tale, if only at some distance!)

Wrap, the body charged with recycling waste, says we all feel uncomfortable about recycling underwear and I imagine the poor souls who have to sort it out, looking for holes and, well, you can paint your own picture, worse, don’t feel too good about it either.

Apparently councils are to be asked to organise regular collections so that people could leave their underclothes in what it describes as “specially marked bags”. And, no, I am not going to speculate on what the marks, skid or otherwise will be. How difficult is it just to wash stuff like that before recycling anyway?


FINAL WORD: With no intended reference to the piece above, I give the ultimate example of turning the other cheek.
The Bishop of Bath and Wells, who may or may not be one of those who goes to the House of Lords for a good lunch, a glass or two of port and a snooze, says that last summer’s rioters were having a “spiritual experience” smashing up cars, homes and shops as well as attacking police officers.

According to the good bishop (clearly not much rioting in Bath and Wells) he argues that rioters should not be blamed for their actions and that we are all responsible.

So, even though we weren’t smashing windows, stealing TVs and computers, setting fire to stores and attempting to maim police officers who were trying to protect our property, we are guilty.

What’s the betting he’s a Lib-Dem?


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