The Joy of Sixth

WE are told that Oldham is the sixth unhappiest place to live in the UK but you do have to wonder who the pollsters asked.

Was it raining at the time? Had Latics just lost? Had that sure thing in the 3.30 at Wolverhampton run off in the wrong direction? Did the pollsters only ask questions of those unfortunate folk who looked like Vince Cable?

And did they take into account the fact that being asked daft questions by the clipboard-carrying nosey parkers who stop busy folk going about their business are not exactly the spreaders of boundless joy.

Yes, there are miserable people in Oldham, those who walk about with faces like a slapped bottom, but for all we know they might just have buried the cat, dropped 50p down a grid, not had their copy of the Chronicle delivered or some other personal tragedy. Who knows?

And those of us who live here would be the first to admit that Oldham has not been looking its best for the past year or so, unless of course you like driving around in ever-decreasing circles until you disappear up your own exhaust.

They claim that there are issues around property values (have they tried buying a house in Saddleworth?) amenities and recreation, safety and neighbourliness and we would have to concede that amenities for young people are sadly lacking and that recreation facilities are hardly up there with the best.

But Oldham is a town in transition, it is a slow process and the length of time it all takes (coupled with memories of broken promises and disappointments in the past) do spread some frustration there is a drive and ambition to improve the lot of all residents that asks only for one thing and that is patience.

And as for the low ranking for neighbourliness, good neighbours is precisely what the vast majority of Oldham folk are and it is local people who always have and always will make Oldham what it is. Maybe the pollsters got off the tram at the wrong stop.



THE number of mainly young people being stabbed to death or seriously injured by knife-wielding thugs is on the increase as the number of those arrested for carrying a knife (a lethal weapon, remember) is in decline.

Carrying a knife seems to have increased since sensitivities to political correctness reduced the number of stop-and-search efforts by police officers.

The number of stabbings (many of them fatal) is increasing as more and more young men carry knives as part of their night-on-the-town uniform. Those who carry a knife are a real danger to others and the fact that these deadly weapons have become as casually carried as a watch, wallet and condom is worrying.

There are those who say they carry a knife for protection, but that phrase alone acknowledges that there is a strong possibility that the knife will be used at some stage in the night out.

While some clubs and pubs have systems to alert them to the presence of knives in the pockets of customers, there is no protection at house parties or at venues where there is no deterrent.

Stop and search has its critics but if it saves a life it is doing its job. All that needs to happen then is for the courts to treat the possession of an offensive weapon seriously and impose sentences that might just act as a deterrent.



ACCORDING to a new piece of research, men now value women for their intelligence and character rather than their, shall we say, physical attributes. And the same research suggests that women attach far more importance to men’s looks rather than how well off they are. Those of us who are beyond our sell-by date and whose film-star looks have tarnished, not to say collapsed, can but be grateful that we are no longer in that desperate hunt to find a mate.

If it is true that men now find women’s brains more intriguing than boobs and bottoms whereas men are judged on their looks, time has saved us from a life of celibacy and the cloisters of the monastery.

FINAL WORD: The former Soviet state of Latvia is giving 100,000 Russian citizens the right to claim European Union passports. Granting them a Latvian passport will enable the 100,000 worthy citizens to work and live in Britain where there are already thriving Latvian communities, many having undertaken low-paid jobs. This weekend’s puzzle question is: Where do you think the 100,000 former Latvian folk will finish up?






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