Some more chillingly daft ideas from EU

THE FRIDAY THING: WE might at last have got rid of the snow storms, but it seems that nothing can save us from the storm of crackpot ideas coming our way.

The daftest wizard idea — it has a lot of competition for the title — is a device that can turn off your fridge, your freezer and even your oven and cooker without letting you know.

You will get no warning until you open the freezer to find it awash with melted ice and unfrozen meat, vegetables and curries. That white wine chilling in the fridge will have become warm enough to bath in This brainwave backed by the European Union (need I say more) is planned to save electricity when a strain is being put on the power supply. So you will suddenly find you have no dishwasher — well, you’ll have no food to put on dishes anyway; all your frozen food will be frozen no more, and having a swim in the freezer cabinet.

The fortunate with a real fire in their sitting room will, of course, be all right because all they will need is a long fork and a slice of bread. They can dine royally on toast and whatever hasn’t gone off.

From an economy point of view it would surely make more sense if the switch-off device was in the TV, PC or non-essential stuff. This would not only save a fortune but also stop your hormonally-charged teenagers ogling porn, which is terribly bad for their eyes...


Scots are all out of kilter
WHILE we are still on daft ideas, how about an independent Scotland and what the Scots should do about their currency.

Even Mr Smug, Alec Salmond, has turned his back on the euro and seems to want to keep the English pound.
If he really wants independence, he could call the currency the Tartan, the Poond, or, my personal favourite, the Nessie - because it, like an independent Scotland, is the stuff of fantasy.

If there is a benefit from Scotland taking refuge behind Hadrian’s Wall it is largely for we English on this side of the divide.

If Scotland rules itself we will rid ourselves, at a stroke, of all those Scottish MPs who interfere in English affairs.