December’s just far too Christmassy for my liking

I desperately wanted to write about something other than Christmas.

I was racking my brain cells to eek out anything at all that may have been going on in my life that wasn’t entirely devoted to trees, decorations and turkeys.

I have been lying awake reaching into the furthest corners of my mind to gently coax and then drag out kicking and screaming any memory that was not linked with presents, wrapping paper and stuffing.

However, it was not to be. We did go to friends for dinner the other night but it was a Christmas dinner and we did a ‘Secret Santa’. That’s almost like Christmas Day isn’t it?

We’re invited to a birthday party in the next few days but we have been requested to dress “Christmassy.”

I’m not even too sure what that means. If I was a soap star it would mean a Father Christmas mini-dress with suspenders and sky-high heels but I’m not, so a bit of tinsel on my handbag will do.

There is nothing that happens at all in the month of December that isn’t based around Christmas.

For example, it is well known that just by mentioning the word Christmas to a DJ or a caterer they will automatically add 20 per cent to the bill so just mentioning the words “Christmas work’s do” makes the cash tills start a’ringing like car alarms.

I’m starting to feel like a bah-humbug — which, I would like to inform you, I am not.

I actually love Christmas. All of it. Apart from Wallace and Gromit — I just don’t get it — oh, and the Queen’s speech. I only ever heard it once and it just depressed me.

It made me feel like we were in 1940s war-time and that’s not a Christmas feeling, trust me.

I love the stockings in the morning and Trivial Pursuit after dinner.

I love Christmas dinner itself even though I’m a veggie. I love the carols on the radio and I love, love, love pantomime, I do hope you’ve all been to see the Coliseum one? It’s fantastic.

Look, I’m just a bit sick of Christmas that’s all it is, I can’t wait to think about something else.

In the meantime, Merry Christmas everyone. Like I said, there’s nothing else going on.