Cheer-up, not too long to April!

ARE you feeling a tad blue? No, not cold: fed up. January, allegedly, is the most depressing month of the year. The hype around Christmas is over. The New Year’s new beginning has faded along with your resolution to lose weight/give up smoking/learn Esperanto. And there isn’t another bank holiday until April.

Depending on your source, you can choose the most depressing day: Someone on BBC Radio 4 at 6.30am on Monday reckoned that that was the day. The most depressing because we all had to return to work after the festive season.

Life’s obviously a little less taxing at the BBC — most of us got our noses back on that grindstone on the 29th.

Tradition has it that this year’s the day is Monday, January 19. Something to do with credit card bills and an extra 7lbs. Crikey, if I’d only put on 7lb I’d be positively ecstatic. They want to be standing where I am right now — on the talking scales which have just instructed “one at a time please”.

Depressed? Me? Well, I wasn’t till I had tackled brain training on the Nintendo DS Him Indoors bought me for Christmas. It’s taken me this long to have a go because he also bought me his favourite game. And he’s been dedicatedly making sure it works properly. Bless.

Apparently, my brain could do with a few press ups. Because the stupid machine reckons it’s 88-years-old. But that wasn’t as bad as the Wii fit-thingy. According to that I’ll be celebrating my centenary any day now.

And as if all this weren’t bad enough, I’ve just discovered that Michael Jackson is appearing on “Celebrity Big Brother”. At least, that’s what Him Indoors is insisting. “He might be calling himself LaToya,” he muttered, “but any fool can spot it’s him.”

The fact that s/he won’t be filmed without make-up, has insisted on a private room and speaks in a funny voice just adds grist to his mill.

“Who,” he asks “would have a nose job like that? OK, Michael’s was a mistake, his big sister wouldn’t be stupid enough to copy it.”

And, he points out, that they’re never pictured together — not since 1977, anyway, when they were both good-looking black Americans.

That, incidentally, came as a bit of a shock to son No 4 who always thought Michael Jackson a bit strange, but white.

Time will tell, I soothe Him Indoors. If it IS “Thriller” himself then sure as eggs are eggs, he’ll come clean shortly. If not, someone needs a serious word with his sister, because Michael’s is not a good look to copy.

Privately, I don’t much care either way. Once Ulrika’s out (which I suspect will be sooner rather than later) I won’t recognise anyone else so I won’t have to watch it.

Now THERE’S a reason to be happy in January.