Happy to be in a minority on Jade

THE last time Jade Goody hit the headlines as much as she has done this past week was when she was chucked off “Celebrity Big Brother” and unilaterally accused of racist bullying.

Then — two years ago — she was the “celebrity” we all loved to hate.

These days I’m in a minority of one. Because I still cannot abide the big-mouthed ladette whose only claim to fame was flashing her all, thinking Cambridge was a suburb of London and Rio de Janeiro a man. Oh, and let’s not forget that “wonderful” TV moment when she got down and dirty with a fellow nonentity on “Big Brother 3”.

Before that, all this Cockney gal was busy doing was getting rat-arsed and worshipping shoes and handbags. A real role model then.

But yes, apparently, she is.

Her marriage to bully-boy Jack Tweed (jailed a few months ago for beating a 16-year-old with a golf club) was the top story on “BBC News” on Sunday. And why? Because she has cancer. Oh, and a publicist.

Jade Goody has been page one news in the tabloids since her cancer was diagnosed terminal. The very papers that would have had her hung, drawn and quartered two years ago now proclaim her “brave” and “gutsy”. It’s become politically incorrect to say what you really think when it comes to the dead and dying, but I hope when it’s my turn to go (if anyone bothers to write a paragraph about it) Him Indoors will tell it like it is.

Far better he said “God, she could be ratty and untidy. Her knickers drawer was a disgrace”, than trot out some hackneyed “everyone loved her” lie.

But, back to the tabloids. Why is it “brave” to suffer from terminal cancer? Jade’s been pictured sobbing hysterically over the news. I don’t blame her, I would be gutted if it were me. But then I wouldn’t have anyone put it about that I was being brave.

What I would be doing is spending every last second I’d got with my sons, instead of hawking my story to any tired newspaper that’d pay for it. I’d be having birthday parties and Christmases, pancake days and Hallowe’ens. In short, I’d be giving my lads something of “me” to remember me by.

But I suppose Jade’s boys will have all that tabloid coverage to bring her to mind.

Max Clifford (the publicist) has flogged her wedding pictures to OK! magazine for close to a million — which puts her in an enviable position compared to many other terminal cancer sufferers.

The best they can hope to leave is a few pennies left over from last week’s incapacity benefit of less than £200. If they qualify for it, of course.