Bubbles and strife at the kitchen sink

There are four ways to wash up. Fast, slowly, well and badly. Some people combine two of the styles and if it’s slowly and badly then there really is no hope.

Fast and well is what you should be aiming for, but however much they want to be, some people just aren’t blessed with the right talent.

Those who do it well make it look easy. Hot water, bubbles, elbow grease, done.

But for those who do it badly, a pile of pots is an apparently insurmountable challenge that can cause hours of hassle and upset.

Experts say the key to washing up is doing it right away. If you wait until the end of “Holby City” it’s almost impossible to walk back into the kitchen, turn on the light and begin the job with any sense of purpose. Attempt it by all means but there’s a good chance you’ll still be there at three in the morning.

It’s best to crack on straight after tea, as soon as the “I’ve had a terrible day,” conversation has dried up. Do it robustly and with intent. You need to leave the pots in no doubt that you plan to hang around until they’re clean.

Approach the sink with your legs sturdy but relaxed and your arms alert and athletic. Plates, pans, cutlery should be your order of attack. As with any endurance event, you must be prepared for the moment when you hit “the wall”. It’s usually around the time you reach the desert bowls. Just be grateful you’re only washing up for two.

With the cutlery I’d expect you to clean the first few knives and forks with rigour, washing each side individually and then holding them up to the light to make sure they’re completely clean.

As you progress though and lose enthusiasm for the job, it’s acceptable just to splash them about in the water a bit.

The practice of “soaking” is hugely controversial. It may make it easier to get lasagne off an oven dish but it can quickly get out of hand. The danger is that on your return to the sink the water has gone cold so you decide to soak it again. And again. And again. Before long, you’ve spent your entire evening re-soaking.

Other options include getting a dishwasher which will need loading and unloading but at least you’ll avoid wrinkly fingers.

You could use paper plates and bin them, eat in restaurants all the time or employ what’s known as an “organic dishwashing system”. This means you get the children to do it but that could turn out to be more effort than just doing it yourself.


Next week: The Art of being an Animal Lover.