Oh I say, let’s hope Murray is our ace

The Art of Tennis

There are two weeks of every year when tennis is our nation’s favourite sport and they have begun in earnest today.

Topics up for discussion will be “Why are we rubbish at tennis?” and “What’s the best way to get a strawberry seed out of your teeth?”

We’ll become a nation of tennis connoisseurs. At bus stops you’ll hear comments such as, “Did you see that exquisite back-hand volley in the game between Kalashnikov and Molotov on BBC 2 last night? I nearly spat my Robinsons out. It was sensational!”

It’s also the time to dust off your own racket, stroll down to your nearest public tennis courts and queue for two and a half hours to get on. Most tennis at this time is actually played in the fields next to the courts as you wait. You patiently knock a ball to each until one of you misses it and has to run after it for quite a distance.

Once on court, the net proves an unfortunate obstacle to a free flowing game. Invariably, having bounced the ball the required three times, your first serve will crash into the net due to you trying to send it over at 175 mph.

Your second serve then needs to be a delicate lob 5ft higher than the net which gently plops into the required section, allowing what’s destined to be a must-watch rally to begin.

Then, while using a plethora of shots including the “hit and hope” and the “backhand into the fence”, it will gradually dawn on you that tennis is a lot harder than it looks on telly. Of course, there are many people who play tennis regularly and would be insulted by such basic tips. But they shouldn’t be so cocky. However much they practise, however many lessons they have, they’ll still never beat a 10-year-old on a Wii.

Unfortunately, for long suffering tennis fans, this country hasn’t exactly been blessed with world class players over the years. It got to the point where we’d support anyone with a tenuous link to the UK. Remember that great British hope but Canadian flop Greg Rusedski?

But the long wait could finally be over. In Andy Murray, the first home grown player to win at Queens for a lifetime, Britain (or Scotland if he loses) has someone who can get it over the net and stay strong when the pressure is on. So should we put our white wooly jumpers on and dare to dream? Of course we should, it’s what Wimbledon is all about.


Next week… The Art of Building.