Street’s Pete hits a new bar low

Channel hopping: 

OLD soak Peter’s spectacular tumble from the wagon ensured he had more than a bad head to worry about after the hard-hat party at the new bar on “Coronation Street”.

Hard-drinking ex-Navy pal Ciaran’s return to dry land was enough to tip the bookie over the edge — now the odds on the bar actually opening are looking dead in the water.

Favourite plot of the week however, was Hotpot-gate at the Rovers. Betty-luv’s 90th birthday had the hacks from the Weatherfield Gazette clamouring over the oldest barmaid in Manchester story.

But the real scoop was when bungling Steve accidentally microwaved a rancid two-month-old hotpot and served it to disgruntled 91-year-old Enid Crump of the Parson’s Arms. She’d marched in waving her birth certificate in disgust — a sick note may have been more appropriate.


DROOPY boobs, flatulent fatties and horse-shoe-shaped what-have-yous were the “real-life issues” tackled by Channel 4’s “Embarrassing Bodies” this week. Fine, except they’re also cases better dealt with by a local GP, so why let it all hang out on national TV?


LORRAINE Kelly straddled that exercise machine like Jonathan Ross does with his guests on “Friday Night With”. “This really is nice,” said the face of “This Morning” — the standard response from Green Room after Green Room when everybody knows Ross isn’t going to leave them red-faced by asking any remotely probing questions. Mine host, as usual, pushed all the right buttons. The only button viewers needed was the one marked “off”.


EVER thought talent shows had gone full circle? “Dancing On Ice”, “So You Think You Can Dance”, “Got To Dance” and “Strictly Come Dancing” immediately spring to mind. Now dancing with wheelchairs is round the corner. “Dancing On Wheels” tomorrow at 9pm on (you’ve guessed it) BBC3 is plumbing new depths.


Soap roar: Little Tiff mixed it with the Walford trash but still came up smelling of roses in “EastEnders” when she found the missing cheque in the back of a dustbin truck. She’s just like her mum that one.


Soap bore: Shame on Syed. He’d been married to the new Nissan (Amira) for well over a month and still not moved her through the gears. That pair are already heading for breakdown.