We’ll all forgive Terry in June

WHAT KATI DID NEXT: I know it was some time ago now. In the land of the celebrity, it’s so old-hat I should be thrown out of the country for even mentioning it.

But can we just quickly recap the debacle that was John Terry, his wife Toni, the England captaincy and a girlfriend of another footballer whose name I cannot remember.

All is now cleared up and we are in very safe hands.

The cleaner than clean Rio Ferdinand has been given the title of captain of England, the football team and not by the way, captain of England, the whole country.

In fact, I’m amazed they found any player in any league who at some point in their career has not done something slightly gossip-worthy.

So we shall not harp on about Mr Ferdinand, but I would like you to imagine how difficult a conversation it would have been for Rio if in fact he had also been playing away.

“Well actually guv, I’ve got something to tell you as well.”

I am sure that I am not at all bothered, hold on let me check, yes, I am truly not concerned at all with the fact that John Terry has had an extra marital affair with another WAG.

I hate to ask this ultimately stupid question, “will it make any difference to his goalscoring tendencies?”

I mean does he score goals? Is he one of those up the front players who goal hang and then take all the credit?

Or is he one of those shouty ones at the back who is constantly waving his arms and pointing at the older bloke dressed in black, who as far as my untrained eye can tell, is the one who does most of the running around.

He’s the one we should all be talking about after the match.

So will it make a difference? As far as I can tell, the average football fan tends to forgive football players pretty much anything, if Cristiano Ronaldo and David Beckham are anything to go by.

That’s as long as you score lots of goals. So Mr Terry, my advice would be to start kicking some balls about. You’ll be the most wanted football icon in town soon enough.