Here we go again with more of same

CHANNEL HOPPING:

SIX weeks, six celebrities and six disabled dancers. Not the start of a joke, but “Dancing On Wheels”.

It’s up and rolling — and if the first episode is anything to go by, we’re in for a bumpy ride.

Rugby league legend Martin Offiah said his journey would be complete, providing he wasn’t booted out in the first round. He was booted out — in the first round.

Some choice language livened things up (this is da yoof channel you know) but when push came to shove, another naff dance-off format came to the fore.

No matter how much spin the judging panel generated, in the world of vote ’em off dance competitions, “Dancing On Wheels” is merely six of one, half a dozen of yet another.



“ONE slip and we all go down,” warned David doing his seldom-seen caring son routine to Gail.


“Get your story straight — and stick to it,” the little runt persisted.

Trouble was, Joe had already slipped — and gone down.

This was Lakes-gate on Corrie, where the unhinged kitchen fitter tried to fake his own death by making it look like he’d fallen off a boat. Except he forgot the faking-it part, fell in . . . and drowned.

Surprised? Not really. One look at Gail’s boat is enough to drive any man to the depths of despair.


DOTTY led Dot a merry dance in “EastEnders” when the only dots that needed joining were the ones surrounding Archie’s murder.

Is it really 25 years since “EastEnders” first burst on to our screens or is that the amount of time it’s taken to reveal the culprit?

It seems A LOT longer. Friday’s live episode will lift the lid . . . at last.


PIERS Morgan on Gordon Brown: “Have you ever been a plonker?” Come on, Piers, the show’s only an hour long.

Soap roar: David didn’t half put a shift on up to Cumbria after mum’s SOS call. He couldn’t have been on the Weatherfield Hopper — more like the chopper.

Soap bore: Manda rumbled big bear Minty’s secret visits to Sam ‘Goldilocks’ Mitchell in prison. “That was just fantasy,” he said. “It’s you I want.” Manda moved out. Now he’ll never get his oats.