Doggedly making a killing

CHANNEL HOPPING: “THOU shalt not kill” must be the first thing they teach ’em at preacher school. Bible-bashing Lucas was obviously down the Vic when God was handing out diplomas.

First Owen — strangled and buried under a tree — Denise’s hubby can now add Sugar the dog to a not-so-sweet list of misdemeanours. The poor old pooch was only digging for a bone . . . that’s Sugar, not Denise.

It could easily have been a case of after the Lord Mayor’s show for “EastEnders” following the historic live episode. But the Square has storylines spilling out of its ears — and Owen’s murder wasn’t the only plot to set alarm bells ringing again this week.

Lucy Lastic’s pregnant, Zainab dropped a sprog in the office, Postman Mass has made off with the mail and Billie is getting it on with his step-sister’s step-daughter.

Archie who?


“MARRIED Single Other” — no wonder ITV billed it as the next “Cold Feet” rather than a posh British suburbanite version of “Friends” without the laughs.

This particular cast of slushy 30-somethings (Lucy Davis, of “The Office” fame; Ralf Little, “Royle Family”; and Dean Lennox Kelly who played Kev in the first series of “Shameless”) have clearly seen better days. Good acting . . . and it does have something. It’s just . . . no one seems entirely sure what that is. Married/single/yawn . . . why bother?

EVERY student’s favourite breakfast show “Countdown” posed something of a conundrum last week — was this the longest unbeaten run a Burnley player has ever had?

Clare’s defender Clark Carlisle made it into the winner’s chair — and scored more than three points — groundbreaking.


TYRONE’S mum Jackie has ditched Scouseland for t’cobbles of Weatherfield again. Don’t be fooled,Ty. She might have pink hair but that one’s no lady. Margi Clarke has played poison in everything she’s ever been in.


Soap roar: “My God. That boy could suck an orange through a straw.” Amira’s take on mum-in-law’s breastfeeding new-born son in “EastEnders”. Not, it should be noted, a character reference for closet gay husband Syed.


Soap bore: Sunita’s aunties from hell in Corrie . . . the auntie-Christs. Let’s hope she saw them right back on to the plane at Ringway.