Enough to drive you potty

WHAT KATI DID NEXT:

You have no idea how hard we have worked over the past few months. Every day struggling and getting nothing back.

It’s been a nightmare. I can hardly talk about it without welling up. Finally, three weeks ago, without any prior warning, I had a text message, well it was more a picture message really.

This picture that I received via mobile phone, was of, now brace yourselves, a poo.

Now I know what you are thinking, what kind of sick woman is she?

There are websites for this and now is not the time or the place.

But you have no idea what this particular poo meant to me. It was the first poo, the very first one, in months of pleading, begging and cajoling that my two-year-old ever did in his potty

See I’m not the twisted individual you thought I was.

For three weeks now we have been congratulating ourselves, patting ourselves on the collective back, threatening to write a book on our brilliance as parents as every day, the lad — not the husband, he was potty-trained before I met him, just — got more and more confident in his ability to inform us of every movement.

That is until today. Today it was a cold day, a brisk kind of day and in our winter joy we decided to head off to Risley Moss, a nature reserve, near the massive Ikea in Warrington, to have a cold, brisk and joyful wintry walk. What a great place to be.

It doesn’t have a major café or any such draw which means for people who like a bit of quiet it’s a fantastic place to go for a walk.

Not many people and lots of birds and wildlife.

We were bowling along, splashing through puddles and kicking through mud. When “mummy, mummy I need a wee.”

In control we assumed wee position and all was well.

Lots of congratulations later and mummy pulled up lad’s new Y-fronts.

What he had neglected to tell me was that he had also No 2’d.

In went my hand, practically up to the wrist. I shall go no further.

I still have that text message though just to prove he was once brilliant. Only a mother could keep that.