Hitman throws in the towel

CHANNEL HOPPING: 

WITH a string of smash hits, 50 number ones and an OBE to his name, song-writing supremo Pete Waterman now feels the time is right to throw in the towel. Fair dos.

The original Hitman might not grab as many headlines for doing so as nickname-sake and former world boxing champ Ricky Hatton. After all, who wants to bow out a loser?

It looks like being floored repeatedly was more than enough to make Hitman Ricky see sense — instead of stars — even when faced with cat-calls for a comeback.

Pete’s followed Hatton’s lead in a more unconventional way. He’s resigned himself to flying the (mini) Union Jack flag at Eurovision this year — truly an admission of defeat.

“That Sounds Good To Me” — his new track soon to be murdered before millions — was Waterman’s response to the BBC’s SOS call.

Suddenly, “I Should Be So Lucky” — perhaps the most lucrative of Pete’s cheese-making pop ditties — has more than a blast of irony about it now.

His forlorn expression when faced with choosing a final three to sing for the nation on “Eurovision — Your Country Needs You” on Friday was a real Waterloo moment. And the star-maker himself had the look of a beaten man.

All six contestants were hopeless. Not one could hold a note. One of them — 18-year-old Karen from Newcastle — said it would be “a challenge to sing and dance at the same time.” She was one of the better ones.

Host Graham Norton described Karen as being as cool as a cucumber — then she missed her cue half-way through the song.

In case you were wondering, unknown 19-year-old Josh got the nod and will sing for the UK in Oslo. Not that it matters — the usual friendly-voting will soon see to that . . . Greece and Cyprus, I’m looking at you. Heaven help us.


SPEAKING of Euro trash —– a poor TV week saw Dave’s endless coverage of classic “Top Gear” put through its paces. This was Jeremy Clarkson’s verdict on the French-made Citroen C6: “Looks like the cheese-eating surrender monkeys have bottled it again.” Priceless.


Soap roar: Barbara Windsor brought down Roxy a peg or two by replacing the Queen Victoria statue on the bar in “EastEnders”. That one’s never been afraid to show off her bust.


Soap BORE: Libby’s wheelchair-bound annoying student boyfriend Adam in Walford. Prancing on wheels.