I repeat, why is there nowt on the box?

WHAT KATI DID NEXT: I’ve talked about this before, I know I have, but I’m afraid I’m going to have to talk about it again.

Why is there nothing on television anymore?

I mean really, I’ve had enough of this. I pay my license fee like the best of men but I am seriously starting to doubt the reasons why.

I’ll tell you a story.

When I was a little girl, I hated the news. Absolutely loathed it and the reason why?

Because adults wanted to watch it. All the time. What was so interesting about it anyway?

Things going on in the world that we could neither help with or would affect us.

What was the point? Please let’s watch some cartoons, I thought, with their flashy effects and bright colours, although do bear in mind this was the 70s and there was very little in the flashy effects department and come to think of it the bright colours one either.

However that proves my point with more aplomb. I would have watched paint dry before I would have watched the news.

Now I’ll let you in on a little secret, I kinda feel like that now. I kinda look at the news and think, oh no, isn’t there something more flashy and bright on.

The problem is though, that these flashy, bright programmes tend to have Piers Morgan on them and these are not the programmes I have in mind.

What about the good dramas and by good I mean the great “Cracker” or legendary “Prime Suspect”.

Now all we get is cliched copper speak and it is oh so very dull. Where are the compelling documentaries, I mean come on.

So now I will happily sit down, even though I’m not a fan, in front of the news for hours.

Suddenly all the dramas unfolding around the world are my new “Cracker” and the stories of impending natural disasters are my new documentaries.

This is now my reason for paying my licence fee. Just for once I would like to be one of those people that get their opinions asked of them.

I would like to tell someone my opinion of television in 2010. So if you’re out there and you’re interested in my opinion, come and see me sometime.

Just not when the nine o’clock news is on.