Let’s face it, the 80s were awful

CHANNEL HOPPING: EXACTLY what is it with the 1980s? Every man and his Atari seems to think they were fantastic. “Agadoo”, Kajagoogoo and Soda Streams were hardly trendy at the time — so they’re a million times worse now.

That gloriously tragic decade which gave birth to Bob Carolgees and a mongrel with Tourettes is not to be even remotely (on a wire) celebrated. Yet try switching on the TV these days without being reminded of it.

BBC’s “Top of the Pops 2 80s special” set the glitter ball rolling, swiftly followed by “Heston’s Feasts” on Channel 4 where the oddball chef “cooked” lobster in a coffee machine, then welded cheese toasties on to a giant Breville sandwich maker. It wouldn’t be the Eighties without a bit of cheese. Even “Back to the Future” was given an airing on ITV3.

Nobody had a bad word to say about the Keith Harris and Orville era until BBC2’s “Grumpy Guide to the Eighties” blew them all out of the fizzy water. My cup of tea . . . in a good old-fashioned teapot.

From shoulder pads and leg warmers to tedious coffee commercials and breeze block-style mobile phones — they were all laid bare by the wonderful grumpies. And that’s how it was — along with sterile Sunday afternoons in front of “Bullseye”.

Like the Emperor’s new clothes, the Eighties are back in vogue.


IT turns out Blanche’s heart was not quite the box of shattered glass most residents of “Coronation Street” originally thought.
What was crystal clear however, was the late acid-tongued terror’s sharp sense of humour — demonstrated with the reading of her will.

As the vultures descended around the Barlow feeding table, there were gasps of disbelief as Blanche left all of her £14,000 savings to incarcerated grand-daughter Tracy.

The highlight though, was what she left to Street gossip Norris. “The knowledge that, for once, you heard the news first-hand and won’t have to go scurrying around for it.” Priceless.


Soap roar: Tracy returning from a bit of TV time at Her Maj’s pleasure to cellmate Gail: “You didn’t miss much on telly — apart from ‘Relocation, Relocation’”. Fancy showing that in a prison.

Soap BORE: Teetotal Syed downed a full bottle of vodka, necked Paracetamol pills by the dozen, then woke up in Walford General none-the-worse for wear. Enough to tempt Phil Mitchell into giving the wagon another wobble.