It never rains but it pours

CHANNEL HOPPING: POOR old Fiz, queen of the “Coronation Street” conundrum.

As if she hasn’t had enough to ponder after dearest John kidnapped Dosey Plebster, the flame-haired frump caught little bruv Chesney skiving school to sell dog collars on (never before seen) Weathy Market.

The knicker-sewer was given the needle again when her weirdo hubby let his latest cat out of the bag. John’s hair-brained scheme to continue in the classroom under the name of ex-colleague Colin Fishwick came back to haunt the struck-off teacher when Charlotte, another former staffroom staple, rumbled his extra-curricular activities.

Could John be heading for more detention at Her Majesty’s pleasure? After all, there’s a cell going begging after Tony Gordon’s departure.

Elsewhere, it was no wonder gormless arsonist-turned-butcher Graeme had some colour in his chops this week after setting the love fires burning in Street siren Tina’s heart — soap’s most unlikely romance since Curly and Raquel.




“JAMES Corden’s World Cup Live” is a cross between the Chris Evans “TFI Friday” chat show (he’s even dug out the DJ’s old wooden desk by the looks of things) and Skinner and Baddiel’s “Fantasy Football” — especially the Phoenix from the Flames-style recreations of on-the-pitch action (of which there has been very little so far).



A handful of half-decent guests — Noel Gallagher, Russell Brand and Simon Cowell — certainly talked a good game. There’s no truth in the rumour, however, that Corden’s “Back the Beard” campaign — no shaving until England are knocked out of the competition — will see Susan Boyle make an appearance on next week’s show . . . we could very well be out by then.




WORLD Cup watch: When ITV commentator Clive Tyldesley spoke of North Korea’s “good defence” during the rank outsiders’ game with Brazil, it must have had the PC brigade running for cover.



He followed that with a statement about them not being afraid to go on the attack. Not to worry, the North Korean government reportedly only agreed to televise the match if their team won.

Final score — Brazil 2 North Korea 1. Phew.



Soap roar: Leanne called Peter a wassock in “Coronation Street”. Ken said he hadn’t heard that word in years . . . how we miss Blanche.



Soap bore: Danny and GlendaÕs scam to diddle Roxy out of her millions has been rumbling on for that long now, it has a 0 per cent interest rate Ñ for the viewer.