Penguins put pet show to shame

CHANNEL HOPPING:

A POTTY-MOUTHED parrot, a moggy with a nipple fetish and a horse that thinks it’s a dog . . . but we’ll come back to “The X Factor” judges later.

“My Pet Shame” signed off this week and by the look of poor “Gavin and Stacey” star Joanna Page, who’s fronted this pooper for six whole weeks, Sky One may well have to put it down after a bizarre debut series.

From Rupert the hog-breath micro pig to Dick and Phil the stinking terrapins, advice on how to keep your pet healthy and happy is all well and good, but this was our Stace — and the only thing occurring here was the fact that she’s clearly struggling for work now Barry Island life has gone under.

Another animal kingdom put this abomination in its place as it too went into hibernation for the winter. “Penguin Island” told the heart-warming story of a generation of “the little fellas”, beautifully described by Rolf Harris.

Rolf followed little Tilly in her struggle to find the ocean without food or water or anyone to guide her for nearly a week (sounds like an “X Factor” sob-story). Surely Rolf could have at least drawn up a map for the poor little pip-squeak.



ON to “The X Factor” then and Simon said he was looking for something we haven’t seen before. But new mum Dannii’s absence apart, the show itself was more of the same. The same loony tunes contestants, the same old hissy-fits from Lulu Walsh and the same odd glimpses of raw talent.


There was more talking than singing as former Spice Girl Geri Halliwell rabbitted on . . . and on, and on. It’ll be a few weeks yet before the talking stops and the competition can really get started.


Soap roar: A bit of humour slipped through the net in “EastEnders” as Peggy threw one of her famous “faaamily” dinners.


There was only one problem — Billy couldn’t make it, being homeless and all, he explained that he had to find a roof over his head before nightfall. “But I’ve done a trifle,” said Peg’s dotty half-sister Sal. Problem solved then.


Soap bore: Dullest Deidre and cardigan Ken have had it tough over the years in “Coronation Street”.


So it was no surprise when, while tucking into a microwave fajita in front of the box, Ken blurted: “Is this our future? TV dinners with a side-order of resentment?” A diet like that could kill ’em off.