The world according to Karl

CHANNEL HOPPING:

“AN Idiot Abroad” checked in to Sky1 with Manchester’s very own deadpan philosopher Karl Pilkington taking a rare trip away from his comfort zone on a voyage of discovery.

According to Karl, he left school with an ‘E’ in history and very little else. Ever since, his thirst for knowledge has nagged.

Here, Karl is packed off on his travels by his two best buddies — Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant, of “The Office” and “Extras” fame.

First stop on the road to the Seven Wonders of the World was China’s Great Wall. “It’s all right,” said Karl in typical downbeat fashion. “But I wouldn’t call it ‘great’. It should be called The All Right Wall of China,” he commented.

Another of Karl’s glorious insights surrounded the Chinese alphabet. “It looks like someone testing a Biro,” he observed.

Perhaps the dumb bloke next-door routine really is genuine. But I can’t help wondering if he’s merely in character acting out a role he has sharpened to perfection.

When confronted with no cubicle doors or toilet roll in the public lavs, Karl said: “This is the country that made the iPod — forget that, start with a door.”

And: “Whenever you buy toilet paper at home it says ‘made in China’. Why aren’t they using it?”

Genius, madman or actor? One thing’s for certain . . . so often a third wheel in the Gervais-Merchant partnership, Karl Pilkington’s career is now on a roll of its own. Judge for yourself.


KAT Moon returned to Albert Square with a surprise new addition under her coat. Two in fact . . . a set of chest twins.

That girl’s cleavage made the baby bump almost unnoticeable. At one point, I thought Phil and Grant Mitchell were down there.

Alfie soon followed his buxom other half back to Walford only to learn the baby isn’t his. He needn’t have looked so surprised. What with Jack and Sam’s lovechild, Stacey’s little illegitimate Lily and the fatherless spawn of Bianca, it seems no one can drop a sprog anymore in “EastEnders” without the local tinker, tailor or candlestick maker lending a hand.


Soap roar: “My back’s been bad, I had a girl friend — lost a girl friend, Bradley died and Stacey went bipolar.” — Charlie Slater brings Kat up to speed with goings-on in the Square.


Soap bore: Michelle and Ciaran’s will-they-won’t-they love tryst behind the bar at the Rovers . . . mushier than one of Betty’s hotpots.