Wonders of Karl’s worldwide wanderings

CHANNEL HOPPING:

“I WOULDN’T trust your sister with a remote control, Becky,” blasted Steve McDonald after clocking on to Kylie’s midnight flit from “Coronation Street” to Cyprus.

Just as well . . . not content with nicking “a oner” from Roy’s till and buggering off without so much as a second look to her own little lad Max, Stevie’s sister-in-law from hell thought Ayia Napa was in Spain.

If Kylie did have possession of the Rovers’ remote, “An Idiot Abroad” would probably be listed among the “Favourites” section. No bad thing, as it turns out — deadpan comic Karl Pilkington is a Sky1 star.

The monkey-like Manc misery-guts, as Ricky Gervais loves to call him, found himself in Cairo on his latest Wonders of the World mission.

In case you’re reading this Kylie, that’s not in Spain either.

Perplexed, and more than a little cheesed-off at the traffic noise piercing his half-a-star hotel room through the night, Karl observed: “You know that song — ‘Walk Like an Egyptian’ — well, no-one’s walking... they’re driving everywhere,” was bang on the money as the pipping overpowered even Karl’s dry wit, who later described the Pyramids as merely a game of Jenga that had got out of hand.

So far, Karl has tackled China, Jordan, Israel, India, Mexico and Egypt, packing exactly the same suitcase with exactly the same stuff. And he’s concluded exactly the same thing . . . that he wants to get back to Ringway, and fast. Who can blame him? The real eye-opener in this intriguing series is these so-called wonders have all made a two-man tent in Talacre look infinitely more tempting.


TOPICAL-as-ever Enders had news of George Osborne’s government cuts as Patrick listened in on the wireless.

Fair play to the Square on that one, but it was chat show supremo Paul O’Grady who really deserves a mention. “I’d sooner have Ozzy Osbourne in charge — at least then the only cuts would be the bad language from his speech,” was quality. As was “even the Queen has had her money stopped — the poor girl will be shopping at Lidl next week.”


Soap roar: “Flash is an excellent photographer. He’s given most of these girls a leg-up” — Corrie’s Rosie Webster prepares for her lingerie shoot.


Soap bore: “No-one is that good an actor” — The Street’s Audrey Roberts on David Platt’s tearful performance prior to the court case. After seeing his later so-called epilepsy episode, I beg to differ...