Gillian is making a meal of tucker

CHANEL HOPPING:

UNLESS you’re living in some kind of distant universe far away from England’s green and pleasant land, only one big question continues to dominate the day-to-day how, whys and wherefores of everyday life.

After 10 successful years together, the will they-won’t they speculation has mercifully been put to bed.

At long last the inseparable duo decided that, for better or for worse, enough was enough.

Yes, Ant and Dec finally asked why Gillian McKeith ever agreed to go on “I’m a Celebrity”.

Of course there are many reasons why one pops the question. They have done a lot of practising, was Prince Charlie’s response. That was a big surprise — I didn’t think he even watched the show.

The main poser for me though is how come jumpy Gillian is so familiar with rummaging around in her own “nature” at home yet goes up the wall quicker than a scout’s ladder on bob-a-job week when faced with a creepy-crawly in the jungle?

She’s done far worse things in her own bathroom than any bush-tucker trial could offer. Yet the TV nutritionist has made more of a meal out of every little tid-bit than a dyslexic on “Countdown”.

Spiders, snakes and rats I can understand. After all, Lembit Opik must be a bugger to live with. But it turns out this woman has a phobia about everything. The former Lib-Dem MP should have been the least of her worries. (Hope he doesn’t put this on his expenses).

It looked like star-of-the-show Shaun Ryder was going to vent his drug-addled spleen at feeble Gillian until big bubbly Alison Hammond showed up from “This Morning”.

“I like her on the telly,” reasoned the legendary Happy Mondays frontman. “But then, I like horse ‘manure’ in the country – not in my living room.”

You are what you eat, I suppose.



Soap roar: “Dad — do you know how many calories there are in a tea spoon of that stuff?”

— Weatherfield It-Girl Rosie Webster tears a strip off Kevin for spreading too much margarine on his butties.

“Don’t eat it with a tea spoon then” — Little sis Sophie bites back.



Soap bore: “What about you, son. So I am. So I’m not. So it is. So it’s not. So we are. So we’re not.”

— Jim McDonald is back on the cobbles and it’s like he has never been away . . . so it is.