Speech is free — so make the most of it

IT’S said that we live in the age of communication, and what a wonder it is.

You can’t talk to the person sitting next to you on the bus but, if you want to, you have the power to contact anyone else, anywhere in the world, at any time.

That’s as long as they’ve got a signal on their phone, which they probably won’t have. But in theory, you could contact the few people who have a signal, at any time.

We’re all firing off e-mails and text messages like they’re hot potatoes. How r u? Eye am gr8. Sow am eye. Well that’s gr8 2.

You press a button and it’s gone. Half of your message could arrive within hours, it’s that quick.

The other day I e-mailed the person at the desk opposite me and got a text back to say she’d have tea, two sugars please.

As I sent her a message on our intranet system to explain that I couldn’t be bothered to brew up, it struck me that perhaps it would have been easier just to speak to her.

There was a time when I could talk the hind legs off a donkey. I even talked a good game. As a test, I found a glass eye and talked it to sleep. Yes, I’d still got it after all.

I committed to converse with whomever I met, whether they liked it or not.

Highlights were myself in the mirror, whom I found fascinating; my wife, who said it defeated the object of getting married; and two Jehovah’s Witnesses who had to leave after half an hour, so relentless was my chit-chat.

In this country speech is free whether it’s interesting or not, so fill your boots.

If you can’t be bothered to text or speak, you can always communicate through body language. There is a range of hand signs and nods and winks which can be employed. Then there’s telepathy. I know what you’re thinking, it’s a load of rubbish.

A few people, not satisfied with speaking to other live humans, insist they can communicate with the dead and animals. I didn’t think it was possible, until I went on safari last year. As our jeep passed two lions, I heard one of them say: “Mmmm. Meals on wheels.”

Whoever it’s with, the art of communication is something we humans should cherish. It’s one of the joys of my life at the moment to watch my daughter learn how to talk.

She’s nearly two and we’re trying to teach her to say please and thank you. After giving her a biscuit the other day I said, “And what do you say?” She thought about it deeply. “Boo!” came the reply.

I think she knows more than she’s letting on.