Mums united by drink-drive deaths

Catastrophic events bring people together.

The friendship between Sharon Crowshaw and Jo Swanston has helped them deal with the horror of losing a child to drink-driving.

Sharon’s son was knocked down by a drink-driver — but Jo’s son was himself a drink-driver.

They told reporter Jennifer Hollamby about how the tragedies have affected their lives and the extraordinary bond that has grown between them.


“LIFE is never the same again after a police officer knocks on your door and tells you that your son is dead.”

It is 7.30pm on a Monday evening and Shaw’s Salvation Army citadel seems awash with grief as two mothers recount the day that they lost their sons.

“You know even before they tell you” said Jo. “I had a sickly feeling in my stomach before the knock came.”

And for these two women that stomach-churning day fell within just one month of each other in the summer of 2005.

Jo’s son, Michael Fitzpatrick (21), died on July 3.

While Michael was the author of his own fate, the seeds of his early death were sown years earlier when he started using cannabis at the age of 15.

“He would buy cars and drive around with no licence and no insurance,” said Jo. “I had so many conversations with him about his behaviour.”

“Two days before his death, I said to him, ‘I don’t want the police knocking on my door telling me I have to identify your body’, but he would just say, ‘no worries mum’.”

On the Sunday night he drove away from Jo’s house in Whitefield at 6.30pm and never came back.

He had started using ecstasy six weeks before he died. That day he had taken a tablet and drank one pint when he lost control at the wheel and veered into the path of an oncoming car in Victoria Avenue, Blackley.

Sharon’s son, Carl, died on August 1. The 16-year-old was crossing the road to tell his friends that he had been accepted into the Army when he was knocked down in Rochdale Road, Royton, opposite the Carter’s Arms pub.

The driver, Aidan Graham, of Denbydale Way, Royton, who left the scene, was almost one and a half times over the drink-drive limit.

He was sentenced to three years nine months in jail and was released after 22 months.

Sharon has since committed herself to a campaign against drink-driving and Carl’s face can be seen on posters around Royton and on car stickers carrying the warning, “Drink-driving kills”.

But while the circumstances which took their sons vary, it is clear that the magnitude of their grief has eclipsed the horrific events of three years ago and far more unites than divides them.

“I first saw Sharon when I was driving behind her towards a meeting for the Compassionate Friends group, which supports people who have lost children,” said Jo.

“I saw the sticker in the back of her car and just wanted to turn back. I didn’t know how she would react to me when she found out about Michael — he could have easily been the person who hit Carl, but she insisted I go to the meeting with her.”

Sharon said: “I related to her as another grieving mother and not as a mother whose son was a drink-driver. There was no anger.”

And besides, there is something far more important which drives these women forward — it is the desire not to see anyone else follow the same torturous path.

They both believe that education is as important as the prospect of longer jail terms and hope that by recounting their ordeals they can stop more young people dying needlessly.

Sharon regularly gives talks in schools in the hope of drumming into young people just how far the ripples of grief can spread, while Jo has helped set up a new community service for youths in Radcliffe.

“I don’t think people realise the utter devastation that drink-driving causes,” Sharon said.

“The images are the worst bit. The passenger of the car probably won’t forget Carl’s head smashing through the windscreen, Carl’s friend who witnessed the crash has struggled with what he saw, and a lady who gave Carl CPR has also found it very hard.

“It takes over your life. And it’s not just young people who drink-drive. I saw two older men climb into their car in Royton and the driver had drunk so much he could barely walk. I pleaded with them not to drive, but they ignored me.”

Jo says that the accident has stopped her other children leading an independent life, because she is so frightened that something will happen to them.

Both women believe that the drink-drivers should see the effects of their actions in all their gruesome detail and be made to visit the morgue, as well as attend the inquests of the victims.

Jo said: “I got in touch with probation about talking to offenders and I wasn’t allowed, but I think there would be no stronger message than to see a mother talk about her son, his plans, the music he liked and to show them the pictures of his brothers, his brothers who will have no best man and no one to take them in on their first day of senior school.”

The Compassionate Friends helpline is: 0845-123 2304.