Learn with Kev: Relax... and take ‘me’ time

First, lets just say there’s no rush with this skill.

Chill man. Chill woman. Easy now. Lets chillax.

We’re releasing the tension, forgetting the troubles of our day and we’re definitely leaving the washing up until tomorrow.

You’ve been working hard(ish) and this is your ‘me’ time. Breath in and breath out. Garlic for tea last night was it?

Slow it right down. That’s it, r-i-i-i-ght down. Think serenity, think peace and quiet. Think long grass swaying in the breeze, think beautiful waterfalls and pretty mountain streams. . . Wait a minute, stop that, I think I need a wee now.

Think lazy Sunday mornings, think hazy summer afternoons. Imagine you’re smiling at someone you love, imagine you’re floating on a bed of roses . . . No, no, no! You’re not naked! Imagine you’re fully clothed, floating on a bed of roses.

Slow the breathing r-i-i-i-ght down. Don’t stop completely though because you’ll die.

Heavy breathing aside, there are of course many other ways you can relax. Some people enjoy a nice walk and some read a book. Some drink red wine and some even like to iron. Some like to get drunk on red wine and then iron.

Hot baths work too. They ease the tensions in your body and get fresh blood flowing through your muscles. If you’ve got young kids then getting a toy duck stuck up your bum can disturb the ambiance but with 700 candles causing a serious fire hazard, that should really be the least of your worries.

A massage is also recommended, especially if you’re feeling a bit stiff. There’s nothing quite as relaxing as the excruciating pain when your masseuse discovers another ‘knot’ and gets stuck in.

If you want to get seriously relaxed then meditation is an option. It’s about altering your state of consciousness to find a calmness within which basically means just sit down and shut up.

Getting too relaxed is to be frowned upon though. Being so relaxed that your bodily functions are given a free reign is definitely not what we’re aiming for here.

Also, I’m afraid you’ll probably find the more determined you are to have a relaxing day, the less likely it is to happen. To be fair to her, my wife likes to schedule in my relaxation time on a weekend to make sure I don’t miss it. Usually about 15 minutes, mid-afternoon.
Next week… the Art of Being Fashionable.