Pav's Patch: Weighed down by the lack of fivers

CAN I make a heartfelt plea to Mervyn King, the governor of the Bank of England? Please push interest rates to one side for a moment and do a far more important job — get some fivers into circulation.

Every time I buy something from a supermarket, it seems that I go in with a £10 note and leave weighed down with pound coins.

The other night I made some trivial purchase and the till girl gave me half-a-pound of shrapnel in exchange for my tenner.

“Haven’t you got any fivers?” I asked meekly. “No,” she replied without a spark of compassion, and then ignored me as I staggered away lopsidedly, unable to stand up straight because of the weight of metal in my pocket.

I know it’s not the fault of supermarket staff that there is a national shortage of fivers, but they could perhaps be a little apologetic.

And actually, I have a sneaking feeling they hide their fivers from me for spite.

Could you imagine what it would be like if you offered a £20 note — and got 19 pound coins back. You’d need reinforced pockets. Perhaps they could put up signs on the tills — “no fivers” — so that you could go elsewhere or use your credit card.

And surely it shouldn’t be beyond the ability of the Bank of England to print some more £5 notes, or for the high-street banks to issue them through their space invader machines.

You see, I’m a wallet man. I like my notes in my wallet and a small assortment of change in my pocket.

Some men like a purse and others even carry a women’s purse. A few years ago there was even a fashion for keeping your change in a plastic cash bag. But I like a wallet, and what’s the point when all you’ve got is coins?

While I’m on the subject of supermarket checkouts, have you noticed how much people can fit into a basket?

You roll up at the express till with a bottle of milk and a loaf of bread, and in front of you is some bloke with 43 items. Whatever happened to 10 items or fewer?

There was a man like that ahead of me when I got all those coins the other night. He got a fiver in his change even though he had two huge bags which would have counterbalanced the weight of the shrapnel.

I’d love to think people would take notice of this but I have a feeling they’re simply going to stop printing fivers and replace them with £5 coins.

Remember what happened to the ten-bob note?