Bring back the Games — all is forgiven!

LET’S be grateful the Olympics are finally over.

My local supermarket has completely run out of tissues and I’ve had quite enough of weeping into my dinner each night.

What are our national newspapers going to print?

For the last few weeks, the Olympics has featured heavily on the front as well as the back pages — plus all the others in between.

The women’s pages covered the brilliant female athletes. The style pages covered the female athletes and their figure-hugging outfits and the ecology pages covered how big their carbon footprints were now they had flown half way around the world to compete as brilliant female athletes wearing their figure-hugging outfits.

Enough is enough I say. So I’ve been intrigued to find out what has been happening in the world since.

I’ll give you two words but I’ll warn you . . . they’re both terribly dull.

Credit and crunch. I think I’ve just found the names for our new goldfish.

Actually, I’m lying. We don’t have any goldfish. In fact, I hate goldfish.

Anyway back to the credit crunch. What credit crunch, I say.

I have been to the Trafford Centre on a number of occasions recently and the place has been packed.

By packed, I mean parking in a car park 20 minutes away and having to get a bus there.

By packed, I mean queuing for 45 minutes to order my coffee and then another 10 to actually get the stupid drink.

By packed, I mean attempting to palm my boy off at the child-minding service and being turned away because children were spilling out at the seams like a split mattress.

So I’m not sure where this credit crunch is because it certainly wasn’t there.

I did think that maybe it was hiding itself in the town centre.

So I went there too. Nope, the tram was packed solid. Primark had a one in, one out policy.

It was so bad I didn’t even attempt to buy a coffee.

So I’m challenging the journalists and asking them to pin-point exactly where and when this credit crunch is happening.

If they can’t do that could they bring back the Olympics because at least I was minding my own child while sat on my own sofa drinking my own coffee.

Now that’s a credit crunch for you.