Learn with Kev; The art of being politically correct

THERE are two ways you can react to the ever-growing juggernaut which is political correctness.

You can embrace it as an important part of protecting minorities from discrimination or you can hold your head in your hands and weep at the thought of children singing “Baa Baa Rainbow Sheep” in assembly.

If you’re a paid up member of the PC Brigade then fear of causing offence should be what drives you.

It’s not a universally popular pastime with many decisions these days being described as political correctness gone mad which, it turns out, isn’t very politically correct.

You’re using the word “mad” in a derogatory manor which could cause nutters to be treated unfairly.

I find that particularly offensive because I used to be a schizophrenic but thankfully, we’re all right now.

You should try to avoid describing people if you don’t know the current parlance. For example, if someone’s not very tall then you can’t call them a Hobbit anymore. You have to say they’re vertically challenged and no less of a person because of it, even though a tape measure would prove otherwise.

Sexual orientation is also an area where you have to choose your words carefully.

There are gays, lesbians, transsexuals, women who feel like men and men who like feeling women.

They’re all now treated as equals in our society and the politically correct have helped to achieve this. I don’t even mind homophobes but I wouldn’t let them adopt children.

Unfortunately, political correctness has allowed the easily offended to roam free.

Once, when a well-fed woman asked me if I’d seen her husband and I suggested she may have eaten him, she accused me of being fattist.

I said, “I think you’ll find that you’re fattest."

It’s also impacted on comedians with racist, sexist, ageist and chicken crossing the road jokes now being outlawed.

This is one is allowed though . . . have you heard the one about the Englishman, the Irishman, the Scotsman, the Muslin and the Jew? What a great example of multi-cultural Britain.

The punch line doesn’t have the panache of some of the old classics but will certainly make some people laugh.

Next week . . . the art of being unfortunate.