Kicking no-contact rule into touch is welcome

THE FRIDAY THING
THE lunatic idea that teachers should not (not even if they are wearing rubber gloves) touch pupils is finally being abandoned in the wake of a huge increase in violent attacks on teachers by their pupils.

Quite how the health and safety nutters believed that not giving kids who need consoling a hug and those whose ultimate destiny was not GCSEs and university but court and life sentences in prison a clout would improve society has long been beyond me and, I suspect, the teaching profession, too.

The new instruction manual on how teachers should deal with disruptive pupils (you, especially if you are a teacher, will have your own expression for them no doubt) runs to 52 pages, probably five times the size of the instruction book on dismantling a roadside bomb or driving a tank.

Incredibly, some schools have a “no contact” policy, preventing teachers from touching their charges whether they are lying bleeding on the ground or rendering a classmate unconscious, either with or without the aid of a weapon.

Oldham schools are probably no worse and no better than those in other parts of the country and certainly the Chronicle has carried stories over the years of teachers who were assaulted in the classroom. Wearing a school uniform does not automatically mean youngsters aren’t psychos.

The new guidelines will allow staff to search pupils’ clothing, bags and lockers for drugs, alcohol, weapons and stolen goods (yes, these are the children of the 21st century) and no doubt those teachers who fear they are entering a war zone when they cross the classroom threshold will finally believe that at last they have someone on their side.

But it will not only be teachers who will benefit from this sudden and long overdue return to sanity. Those pupils who do go to school to learn (and let us not forget that these are the overwhelming majority) will be able to learn in a better, safer environment and the rest of society may be winners, too, if the new classroom discipline spreads to the streets.

An optimistic dream? Probably, but wouldn’t it be great if the M in Oldham stood for Metrolink and Mahdlo rather than malevolence.



AS a keen observer of the comings and goings of local government, I am intrigued that in the latest manifestation of five-plans-a-day Dave, our chubby-chopped national leader, aims to give parish councils more powers. Or should that be some powers, as our two local models are not exactly renowned for dynamic community action in the interests of local residents.
At Shaw and Crompton they seem to have some difficulty turning up for meetings while in Saddleworth they have had Quality Parish Council status, which allows them to undertake all sorts of activities for the community somehow bestowed upon them but all they have done thus far is to build themselves, at great expense, new facilities and a council chamber.

Under Dave’s latest super wheeze, parish councils can impose parking charges (will they need their own little men on scooters, I wonder), take over leisure facilities and shut down strip clubs and lap-dancing dens that are lowering the moral tone of Shaw and Crompton and Saddleworth, or they would be if we had any.

Libraries (assuming we still have any) and museums will come under the control of parish councils and — this is the really scary bit — the parish council will be able to deal with low-level anti-social behaviour.

In Shaw and Crompton I can see Howard Sykes bouncing a few miscreants off the market place and enjoying it; but John Hudson on Uppermill High Street on a sunny Friday night? He could, of course, talk them into submission with a sermon on his and his colleagues’ good and noble deeds.

There are those who would say that the parish councils could hardly do worse than Oldham Council and at least it would mean that local folk had a genuine say in planning, traffic restrictions, speed limits and the like.

But before you commit to Dave’s localism and big society agenda I advise you to attend a parish council meeting to see how democracy, or one of its distant cousins, works at this level.


FINAL WORD: With Oldham Council planning to sell off many of its buildings can we look forward to the day when Charlie Parker runs his empire from a caravan on Oldham Edge?
Or is a move to the gothic splendour of Rochdale Town Hall a more likely bet?