Wives by the shedload in soft-touch UK

THE FRIDAY THING:

A MAN living in a household in which there is more than one woman should be able to claim a peace-and-quiet allowance from the NHS so he can build a shed.

This really would be an aid to the currently fashionable “wellbeing” movement (whatever wellbeing actually means).

Unfortunately the rules don’t allow sheds on prescription, but immigrants with multiple wives do gain some benefits (and, no, there are no shades of fifty-anythings going on here).

Apparently we, as a country being both the soft touch and the laughing stock of much of the world, recognise polygamous marriages by paying income support grants to the additional wives, as well as the husband and his first wife.

It is an excellent way of increasing income without ever needing to go out to work (except that involved in finding a new wife and building a shed).

Men, usually Muslims from Pakistan, can bring one wife into Britain through the visa route but further wives have to arrive through a different route (whether that is the back of a van under cover of darkness is not clear).

Also not clear is the number of polygamous marriages there are in Britain, but estimates say that there are probably fewer than 1,000.

Could I point out that marrying more than one person is not lawful in this country without having the PC brigade on our backs? What do you think?

But Baroness Flather (the first Asian woman to receive a peerage) is honest enough to say what the rest of us are no doubt thinking. “Why are they allowed to have more than one wife? We should prosecute one or two people for bigamy, that will sort it out.”

But is that really so? While bigamy is a criminal offence in Britain we, daft as ever, apparently recognise polygamy if the wedding took place overseas. And is filling your house with more wives a worthwhile price to pay for a shed/refuge?



I HAVE no wish to put you off your Friday night supper but did you know that 1,300 folk have been unable to work and claiming incapacity benefit for 10 years or more because of diarrhoea?



Ten years of diarrhoea, can you begin to imagine?

Research reveals that 885,100 people have been on incapacity benefit for 10 years or more, the majority, not surprisingly, because of bad backs.

Other claims vary from “depressive episodes” (they are depressed about having to get up before lunch time) to coughs, rashes, being too fat to work, acne, headaches, alcoholism and drug abuse.

And then there is Disability Living Allowance which has 3,226,790 (and rising) claimants (costing the rest of us of £13.4 billion a year). Some 33 new claimants jump (or limp) on to the bandwagon every day.

There are of course thousands of genuine claimants to all kinds of allowances and benefits and if those who are currently abusing the system can be identified and stopped, there would be more money available for the genuine cases.



FINAL WORD: As the anniversary of last summer’s riots nears, do you take comfort from the fact that most of the 1,290 who were sent to prison for looting, arson, violent disorder etc are back on the streets just in time to get a new set of trainers, T-shirts and iPod for their summer holidays?

There are fewer police to contain the rioters than there were last year when the defenders of our lives, homes, shops and streets, were very nearly overrun by the sheer scale of the violence and criminality they faced.

Our best hope of peace on the streets during August is that it rains and rains very hard and very often.

So far the omens are good.









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