It’s a tough old life for our dear old MPs

THE FRIDAY THING: IT’S enough to make we ordinary mortals think that MP stands for money pocketer.

Here we are, all in it together, with millions wondering how long it will be before they are sleeping under cardboard boxes on the streets, and foodbanks (yes, in 2013!) in most towns and cities helping to ensure the poor, the jobless and their children don’t starve.

How do our gallant members of parliament respond? They demand a 32 per cent pay rise, taking their salaries (not including perks and pensions) to £86,250, a modest rise getting on for £21,000.

Those who are having their so-called benefits and special allowances cut will, I am sure, be delighted the money stolen from their pockets could be destined for the really needy, some of whom have had to forego chauffeur-driven limos to settle for first-class train fare. Perhaps we should organise a whip-round.

Not surprisingly, a survey shows that mainly the Tories want a bumper pay rise (up to £96,740 a year) while the Lib-Dems think £78,361 would be fairer (to them, anyway), and Labour thinks the salary level should be £77,322 — not to be sneezed at, unless you’ve caught a cold because you can’t afford heating.

One Tory MP went for the sympathy vote, pointing out that many folk had to take a pay cut to become an MP. But since no-one is forced to be an MP, why do they do it? The salaries, perks, pensions and power might be something of an incentive — as is the prospect of a tax-free £33,000 if members are kicked out (whether by losing their seat, being pushed up to the Lords or getting an even better job at one of the robber banks).

Yes, it’s a tough old life.



GOOD news if you are a linguist — and I don’t mean a specialist in the Middle-earth languages of Delphish and its near neighbour, Digglish.
What you will need to make your fortune is expertise in Bulgarian and Romanian, thanks to Britain’s no-door policy and the EU’s crazy rules. Anyone who lives in those countries can live here from next year. Lucky us.

Where those who do come here — maybe more than 425,000 of them — will live, what benefits they will claim, how many of them will be poorly or where any crooks among them will go to pick pockets is unknown.

David Cameron should demand the right of our Parliament to make and police its own rules - and also demand a two or three-year moratorium on these mass migrations of EU residents until we have gained some control over the number of people we let in and kick out. Those who abuse our hospitality should be in jail. Preferably in their own country.



Civil servants, who believe they and not MPs run the country (and clearly are not making a very good job of it), have drawn up some new laws on personal freedoms at the behest of Nick Clegg.
Lowering the age of sexual consent from 16 to 14 (it was 12 in 1875 and Jimmy Savile obviously thought that nothing had changed) has been rejected by MPs, but laws allowing public nudity are apparently still being considered.

I know, it’s a pretty gruesome thought, especially if you are just about to eat your tea.

Could we see naked shoppers parading in the aisles of Sainsbury’s and Tesco? At least the frozen food aisles would be free of them.

And of course the weather would need to improve if nude male shoppers are to be seen at, shall we say, their best...