The post office: it’s for stamps not toys

PAV’S PATCH: I SPENT a lot of last month in post office queues, as you do in the run-up to Christmas, and it suddenly struck me how much post offices have changed.

I still think of them as a place you buy stamps or send a parcel, but this one had all sorts on offer.

All right, I could perhaps understand Blu-Tack, as you often use it to stick Christmas cards to the wall. Stationery also makes sense. But there were toys galore and, unfortunately, they weren’t of a particularly high quality.

Perhaps I’m being a bit snobby, but I often wonder who buys such things.

It’s the same at the seaside when you find whole streets of shops full of tacky goods. I suppose somebody must buy them, or the shops wouldn’t be open, but I walk around full of amazement at who would want a water pistol that looks as though it would fall apart as soon as you touch it, or a magnetic darts game.

And they’re always boxed up to sound fantastic. Do you remember those “tricks” you could buy from the newsagent? Little pellets you put in someone’s cigarette that were supposed to cause a snowstorm when lit. Or soap that made your hands inky. The reality was never ever what the packet promised.

A particularly useless item was Dr Windbreaker’s powder. That never worked — though I knew plenty of people who could play all sorts of tunes without artificial stimulants.

Yet, the post office held more treasures than this. It was an Aladdin’s cave — packets of screws, sweets, little electric fans, and lots more.

Now, I don’t want to decry the Royal Mail’s attempts to make money but who exactly goes in to a post office to buy a doll or a packet of Opal Fruits?

Perhaps I’m old fashioned but I just might try a toy shop or a sweet shop or, nowadays, a big supermarket. It would never occur to me to pick up a cuddly toy while I was sending a card to my aunty in Australia.

But businesses seem to put a great deal of emphasis on what might be termed impulse buys. The times I’ve been in a bank or building society and asked whether I want a bank loan or mortgage. And then I’ve been stopped in shopping centres and asked whether I want to buy a car or new kitchen.

I mean, these aren’t the sort of decisions you make on the spur of the moment.

The items tend to be rather pricey.