It’s PC for PCs to be pagans

The Friday Thing

LIFE AND OTHER BITS:

I SUPPOSE that the Pagan Police Association could well be an aid to recruitment. You know, all those orgies, casting spells (watch out chief constable) and running around with more than the good old sturdy truncheon on display.

It is of course politically correct. After all, if you can be a Jedi Knight and put that on your census form as a religion then what’s wrong with being a pagan.

Most police officers will certainly have been called a lot worse. It does make you wonder though just how many organisations there are within the force (which may go with you on a broomstick if there’s a full moon) and if there’s a White Christian Police Association hiding its candles under a bushel. Probably not, that would almost certainly be deemed offensive to all the non-white, non Christians among us who are clearly allowed to be much more sensitive. And much quicker to feel insulted and in need of a good no-win, no-fee lawyer, pagan or otherwise...

According to Oldham Euro MP Paul Nuttall (there is something about the surname that chimes quite well with his place at the European Parliament) there are 500 pagan officers in the force, including druids and witches — and, who knows, maybe a few traffic wardens.

In this world of live and let live (unless, of course, you are among the Big Society also known as the forgotten majority) we have little choice but to let live. Do you ever get the impression that you are on the wrong side?


YOU have to give credit where it’s due to the health lot. Having more or less made smoking a hanging offence and set the creaking tumbril (defined in my dictionary as a farm cart for carrying dung) of the nanny state a rumbling to eradicate the drinking of anything stronger than sugar-free Vimto, they now have the humble sausage and a rasher of bacon in their sights.


Biting on a banger or the breakfast bacon can put you at risk of heart disease, bowel cancer and breast cancer. Oh, and if you are really favoured by the gods you will get diabetes as well.

You can see the architects of the nanny state now, sitting there knocking back the chocolate croissants and heavy-duty coffee, sniggering at the rest of us on dry Ryvita and exciting All-Bran and skimmed milk.



FINAL WORD: There was a time when winning £84 million on the lottery sounded like an awful lot of money, but now that we — you, me, Dave and Nick — are £169 billion in the red, it begins to seem like small change.